Another year, another heart was added to my being today.
What colors have been mixed with my flesh and what oh, what have I learned?
That I am strong.
A year ago today, the trees that are my bones began to rustle and shoot up into the moisture of our spring. God gave me my wings and I flew into the summer air and never looked back. But in the fall I had a heart attack. Drove winter into a fence and then everything turned black.
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We are a fragile species, man. We are cold and naked even when we are clothed and warm. Why do we hurt people like this? When we are all simultaneously bleeding and breathing the same. Why do we forget that all we get is bones, cartilage and tissue? We are all of the same atoms, yet selective to when we use our protons, electrons and neutrons right. Where is the symbiosis?
At the nucleus of our kind is this beautifully beating but ever breaking heart. This is what differenciates us. This gives us strength. Why don't we see these things? I guess it is my job to help.
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I have been haunted by familiar ghost long enough to find another host. You were the one I loved the most. Tell me why everything flumes into you. Why can my spark not burn high enough to escape your face. My prayer for you is grace. That you would see this broken thing and be humbled by the Creator of the Universe. There is something bigger than you. There is an ember that burns true.
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I am undeniably lonely. I do not sing songs. I do not run. I do not jump. I just fight.
God, make me beautiful again. Build me new.
Please fucking build me new.
1 comment:
Numbly nesting and never resting, repeat the record rarity, switch it on, dance to “the” song and fly away from me. Nearly made it with my ticket faded but I guess we got the best of “we”. Friend or not, I look at the clock and time has gotten away from me. I chase its tail but to no avail, those moments make theses moments, bland and pale. My mind is spent, my soul is rent and you've given up a fight for lent. Think me not fickle and frowning; only observant and bowing, to you the queen of queer. For every time I find you here, I feel as though you are a seer, unlocking those deep thoughts within my ether, those unspoken thoughts in this “unbeliever”. But fear me not, never again shall I disturb you, never again will I hope you pick blue… but never, never really is never, is it? Don’t you fret it, it always takes me this long to get it, friend or foe, its nice to know but one day we’ll meet again I’m sure. Well… hope so.
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